Thursday, October 23, 2008

craptastic crab ads

Joe's Crab Shack, mid-priced Texas based theme eatery, dissatisfied with just having tacky slogans like 'I got Crabs at Joe's' et al now they have submerged themselves into the waters of ham-handed misogyonstic television commercials! The commercials often play during evening prime time and have two veritable Shakespearian story lines; one depicts a vapid, some what crazed, nagging female telling her male dining companion that he has shit on his face, he grimaces, eye rolls, flicks his eyes in the way that is male code for 'bitches ain't shit but hoes and tricks', and neglects to tell his attractive female companion that she has half a crab leg stuck to her fore-head. The second, is 20x more suggestive and gag-worthy; it opens with a pneumatic blonde with huge harry forearms cracking crab legs and being generally puzzled on how to rend the tasty crab flesh from its pointy shell. The viewer soon finds that the arms belong to a male dining companion who appears to have the female sitting on his lap which he wraps his arms around her, cracks crab legs, and wipes grease and bits of shell on the woman's prominent chest. Clearly, Joe's Shit Shack wants you to know that women should keep observations to themselves and look good so as to not spoil the classy atmosphere of a chain-restaurant where the cuisine is mildly warmed under salamanders and the kitchen are apt to spit in your food for fun. Perhaps their Ad-team of 13yr old boys step it up from immature, jocks who are more likely to eat at buffalo wild wings to the unemployed, video gaming market next! They can have 3am ad spots and totally naked women rolling in vats of melted butter, but have their bodies be slightly geometrically topographic for gaming familiarity. Game Over.

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