on the shoe horn

Recently, economic experts have been trying to determine what consumer product category is "recession proof". Firstly, I am so glad they are doing this and not something that might actually be productive outside of newsprint fodder. Secondly, no doye. Yeah, people need to cover their feet and especially since people tend to use shoes frequently and are perhaps, due to monetary restraint, using their cars less, shoes would appear to be a practical purchase. Though, the always loveable NYmag informs that the sub sector of shoes to have bogglingly positive growth is, dun dun dunnnnn, UGGS. Like 57% sales growth from last year. For the love of all that is (design) holy, will people please, PLEASE stop wearing/purchasing these monstrocities. Their trend cycle, by all reasonable accounts, should have crested and faded into oblivion YEARS AGO. But instead now our millenial time period will be remembered on 'blast-from-the-past' compilation shows as the generation whose brain was eaten by an australian SLIPPER company. THEY ARE SLIPPERS. NOT FOR OUTDOOR USE. My only consolation is the news that Victoria's Secret stock is falling, making for less PINK sweatpants to be stuffed inside the sheepskin socks that are masquerading as footwear and giving me recurring sartorial nightmares.

up-fucking-date re: the hellish mess that is proj runway

ARE YOU KIDDING ME! ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?! I am watching this shit-show right now. main take aways:

Table linen = table cloth, Jerry; don't try and put a pig in a prom dress with your phrasing. Not even the most eloquent of prose will make your god awful raincoat-and-latex-glove american-psycho-morton-salt-girl-get-up tolerable. Oh wait, you got eliminated. There is a god.

Stella, you took cheap garbage bags and made something closer to your personal aesthetic, which happens to look exactly like cheap garbage bags. You got saved, you better watch your Jersey cawing possibly black tar heroin addled self.

Girls with dyed black hair and nerd-girl-prob-clear-frame-glasses' numbers 1,2,3,4,... you are neither interesting nor forward thinking. I don't even want to shame Flavor of Love alum's 'Thing 1 & Thing 2" by giving you that nondescript, patronizing moniker. Though, I may at a later date.

Blayne, girlicious spewing long lost triplet to the Chip & Pepper twins, your romper looks like the Abdominal snowman got stuck in the front crotch region. M Kors says 'It's not cute'

Kelli ends up winning with a still yawn-worthy ensemble. If you put that much time into dyeing vacuum cleaner bags and burning coffee filters please try and make something not so played out. Burberry Prorsum meets Karen Walker painterly acid wash much?

I want to vomit//read soon on the news that all of these people were shipped off to Easter Island to 'Lord of the Flies' all over each other.

Phrases to look forward to from future episodes, none from contestants, all from judges/Tim:
"hey slutty slutty" M.Kors
"it looks like a gay pterodactyl from jurrasic park" Tim
"this looks like a school project" Heidi

Summary of this entire season best stated by M Kors and Heidi during judging: "It's a yawn", "I am not impressed" for fucking real