transfer your gaze

http://futurenever.tumblr.com/

its here its here!!!

CELINE RESORT '10 DESIGNED BY PHOEBE PHILO. It's so..sharp! It's the only resort collection i have seen thus far that doesn't look like it has been used to mop up the tears of soot covered orphans/investment bankers. In some images the rigidness of the fabric becomes almost 2D. The collection actually excites me about fashion again (sorry couture week). Also, they smartly included the shoes and bags in the look book images because people are likely going to be dying to get ahold of those. Like me. NEED!

bunnnnnnssss donntttt crrrryyyyyy

maybe i am listening to the smiths while being teary eyed at cuteoverload.com maybe DONT JUDGE MEEEEE!

if only i could be as sweet and cute as the candy i eat and the bunnies i google-image.
instead i pledge allegiance to snakes snails and puppy dog tails land. reprizeennttt

have a nice gloom-day! see you tomorrow!

AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!

after a hard day of eating jujubees, layin' around and nappin' there is nothing that warms the cantankerous cockles of my heart more than watching a video of a hippopotamus mommy-ing some puppies! zomg! and! its narrated by John Waters double win! (as linked/featured by jezebel) too coot.

"NOTHING IS MORE GLAMOUROUS THAN A BEEF SANDWICH"

THIS IS WHY I NEED MY OWN CABLE ACCESS TV SHOW! Right now. AS I TYPE! A show called 'Sandwiches You Will Like' is on and is interviewing a man with a trachea voxbox about why he likes the spicy tripe sandwich. An hour, devoted only to sandwiches that you WILL, not might, WILL, like. So far, I like none of the sandwiches, but my palette is not refined enough for spicy tripe,bbq pig ear, or egg foo young with mayo on white bread.

Thank god for public access, PBS, CET, and their like. No jillion dollar NYC Prep episode could comepare to this or make for as wet and wild of a drinking game-drink everytime the narrator says DEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE-(whisper)licious or mentions offal. I am running out of beer.

Secrets Show is coming your way...as soon as I get bunny to help me film and deceive others for entertainment. In my dreams...

UPDATE: I totally thought this show was a rerun from about 1996 judging from fashions/hairstyles...NOPE! They are just only visiting those static parts of the country. Diners, Drive-ins, and Dives can eat Brain (sandwich.)The towns also look like every episode of COPS ever, throw in some Joey Greco and I am in cable heaven! Fingers Crossed!

OMFG

GAULTIER HERMES SHADOW BIRKIN!!! I would seriously reconsider buying a car if i could have this bag... ($11,000) that and if i had the patience to wait through the next ice age that will be the waiting list.

mini-mavens

Jez covered/photo galleried Bambino fashion week yesterday and while all coverage is to be taken with a grain of salt, I am kind of salty that instead of being psyched that whats 'new' and emerging in kids wear (and will thus filter down into mass markets within the beginning of next year) is restrained and NOT baby-skank. In the photo comments, Jez Editor Sadie poo-poo'ed the pepita's outfits for referencing nostalgia and GASP CHILDS PLAY! Well, since children, and parents of mass consumers reference their peers shouldn't we be GLAD that the general fashion vibe is that of classic shapes, light heartedness, fun and is thankfully devoid of glitter, glitter mid-rifts, and glitter words across the ass?
And seriously which would you rather dress your child in?

pretentious demi-savant?












or Miss Tuskaloosa 1996?








That's what i thought.

(imgs from jezebel.com)

papa bear baby bear

vice has an interview with Walter Van Beirendonck (1/(antwerp)6).

Van B sez on sezzy bears: "It’s not just “bears,” actually. There are a lot of different types. If you’re in the scene, there are the grizzlies—the dark ones—and the cubs—the young ones. There are also otters. But it’s also a very positive scene. It’s not about drugs. It’s not about aggression. It’s not only about sex. There are cuddly sides to it that I like—stuff like reunions, where everyone’s just eating and drinking and talking. It’s a nice vibe."

so! not only is Van Beirendonck mentor to the spastic fantastic Bernard Wilhelm BUT he is a fan of rituals and bears!The interview also inclines info about Van Beirendonck casting moddle bears for his next show, dressing Robin Williams, and S&M.

I am in fantasy gay brain bear love.

HOLY SPOOKY SHIT

CHARM SCHOOL GIRLS(vh1 mondays) ARE IN A HAUNTED HOUSE! Their character building skill this week was to board up windows and collect used rat traps in a haunted building. When K.O. and Marcia are busying themselves boarding up a broken window and hear a spooky noise they respond like any Charm School contestant and start screaming 'FUCK YOU BITCH'...apparently directed at the ghost. These ladies are good enough just the way they are, without the meddlin' of Madam R. Lake. Keep reachin' for those stars(dollar signs)!

wwwwelcome back W

july W! fashion content! for real! no jokes! the bikini ready mag profiles 12 up and coming (well, up and coming for the pages of W, cushnie & ochs and the lake and stars have been around just not hyper-exploded like an alexander wang) and has a comically written article about gloria vanderbilt's erotic mini-novel (did you know, she is anderson coopers mom? you do now) also, all of the ads being pulled makes for a light, improved read that relies on content-shock!-and not 40milli make up ads. kudoos W.

book lernin

Jez's Anna N (the grande dame) writes on a WSJ piece regarding what appears to be the spate of dark YA novellas (wintergirls, if i stay, hunger games are cited) and makes great assertations in response to the OG WSJ. What neither article touches on however, is that teens today, on the whole are BUYING TRUCK LOADS OF SHIT all by themselves. Not to mention, are a viable market for despondent, weepy, crushing paperbacks that mirror the tumultuous vortex of suck called 'being a teen'.

When I was a teen, I had no income source of my own and had to get clearance to buy anything off the internet from my mom and use her card, meaning, i could not buy half, nay 1/32, the illicit shit i was reading/pining for. Au contraire, ma souer, has her own job, her own cash account, her own computer, and frankly more money in her checking account than yours truely. If i had those means at that age my bookshelf would be far more stacked and the Appalachian county library wouldn't have been half as creeped out by my requests.

Both articles point out that there is nothing wrong with writing/posing novels to teens with what an adult my perceive as risque material and both point out that teens aren't idiots; they know that shit sucks, why wouldn't they, they are teens. I am just glad that (a) more compelling books are being put on the market (i'll fucking read the shit out of wintergirls) and (b) that those lay-about kids are readin' at all.

margiela mystery!

jez's tati.anon.moddle reports that margiela the person may be outro from margiela the brand! !!! let me re-iterate. !!! this may explain why last season was a critically panned as a re-hash of 'greatest hits'. tati nails it with "But the Italian conglomerate's(new-parent brand: diesel) advertising-drenched culture is at odds with Margiela's studied, blank, anti-individualist ethos." rumor has it that raf simons, fellow anterp-ian. both are noted alumnus of antwerps royal academy of fine arts, which is kind of a HUGE FUCKING DEAL; royal academy of fine arts and eindhoven are to fashion and design what pratt and parson are (percieved to be) in the US. sum up. i hate diesel. i DIE for margiela. though i aint hatin' at him leavin' (if thats what he did infact do) no one likes to have their lifelong ethos meddled with, increased sales or no.
in other MM ligne 22 news. someone buy me these!

fuck copyin haters

fuck you jeffrey campbell shoes! i know, have known, how you knock off designer shoes for urban but! snaking ACNE! INCONCEIVABLE! this seasons "asti" are last seasons "niara" i am pissed cause i have the OG and now every tweedly teen is gonna be tryna cop my shit. to console myself i need to get the new "stroll low" to replace my old "stroll hi"'s. lammeeeeeee. (imgs: top left: jeffrey campbell "asti"; top right: ACNE "niara"; bottom: ACNE 'stroll low")

SO WHAT SO WHAT SO FINE

i was (so what so what) so kindly visually compared to the hottest les-tres-biens in telepathe on friday. dieeeee. this vid is so decadent! break ins! marshmellows! killer dance moves! jezuz crips i hope they come to a town/bedroom near me!

http://www.myspace.com/telepathe

IM BACK BITCHES

quoth (the raven: the guardian article inclusively deconstructed by jez)

"The world's been one big dick-swinging contest, and we've caught our collective glans in a nearby desk fan"

lolz peen joke. anywho!

EVERNOTE! every iNerd needs it. it syncs all your TOTES IMPORTANT musings, ruminations, ramblings, and erudite to-dos (like TO DO! BONDAGE SWEATER NEED! LOAFERS! PURGE DUST AND CLUTTER!)with your computer and desktop; no docking required only air wavveezz. and also has voice recognition so as you are speeding past a statie you can remind yourself to pay your ticket with a money order so your sig-other doesnt see you got caught. again.

OMG WANT

hussein chalayan X puma

neeeedddd deeez; right after i sell my cats to citi card in exchange for them to increase my credit.

micro post

returned from travels across the country:

thank you critical shopper for summing up my LEAST favorite parts of what was otherwise a killer sojourn:

"One $75 T-shirt bore the word ARTIST across the chest in a bold glitter font. Now, any artist I know who’s worth his salt would print the shirt himself if it cost more than $22 — and it would never say ARTIST. It might say JANITOR, or IDIOT, or possibly HOOKER. But wearing a $75 T-shirt that says ARTIST suggests that the most artistic thing about the wearer is the T-shirt itself, much as you know that anyone who actually uses the word “classy” probably isn’t. Even if they could afford it, real artists wouldn’t wear such redundancies, any more than raccoons would buy themselves $75 T-shirts that say RACCOON."


see u soon gurlizzz

sabbatical

absent until june: dont cry. ill be back assaulting your eyes and logic later on.
peaceee

no no-ing

"In the consciousness of the truth he has perceived, man now sees everywhere only the awfulness or the absurdity of existence and loathing seizes him."






holy hell.

Nietzsche Family Circus: randomized Nietzsche quote with a Family circus cartoon.
ive been fucking with this for atleastttt 20min if only for the stellar catalog of Nzche. quotes. perfect for doom and gloom and spring time blooms.
via jez via losanjealous

open letter to sarah haskins

Dear Sarah-

i love you, but not in a creepy snapped 2getha4eva way. I love you almost as much as i love starbursts and cheap beer. i love you so much that i get fits of rage when commenters on alternate websites lament the discrimination of men in the media in attack of your webcasts in target women. (i cannot even begin to fully parse or spoof the retardation; the original speaks for itself, see below for screen grab) most of all, i love that you are WORKIN' that rice crispee treat.

now,
back to candy and beer