sabbatical

absent until june: dont cry. ill be back assaulting your eyes and logic later on.
peaceee

no no-ing

"In the consciousness of the truth he has perceived, man now sees everywhere only the awfulness or the absurdity of existence and loathing seizes him."






holy hell.

Nietzsche Family Circus: randomized Nietzsche quote with a Family circus cartoon.
ive been fucking with this for atleastttt 20min if only for the stellar catalog of Nzche. quotes. perfect for doom and gloom and spring time blooms.
via jez via losanjealous

open letter to sarah haskins

Dear Sarah-

i love you, but not in a creepy snapped 2getha4eva way. I love you almost as much as i love starbursts and cheap beer. i love you so much that i get fits of rage when commenters on alternate websites lament the discrimination of men in the media in attack of your webcasts in target women. (i cannot even begin to fully parse or spoof the retardation; the original speaks for itself, see below for screen grab) most of all, i love that you are WORKIN' that rice crispee treat.

now,
back to candy and beer

hoppy eazetar

oh jesus christ do i love cake wrecks. probably almost as much as failblog. how seasonally appropriate and internally appropriate that i should chance upon this glory of a cake. after being a cake decorator for awhile in ye olde days and hating pretty much every minute of it-not withstanding when, tyrannosaurus mom and her inbred children would demand that i write all of the following names on a 6" round cake: jeremy, jason, john, jimmy, jessie, charla, terra, tina, jeff. much like your ass through conventional door frames; that shit wont fit.-this blog makes me cackle with glee at the upset that is caused on what are likely annoying customers behalfs. here is the perm. link to the rest of the awesome easter cakes complete with a bleeding eye bunny! eggggcellent.

dont read if you are immature or my mother

yesterday evening, i was regaled with the epic tale of a queef insurgence taking over the serene town of South Park and the farts were just not going to take it. yes, South Park the television show. and it made a good point. queefs aren't groce and if you think they are maybe you should graduate high school already. this was timely given another fine incident from earlier in the day. being the general lurker that i am i was privy to a small group of people groaning and making vomit noises over Diva Flo cups (google it if you want). OHHHH BARRRFFFF LADY THINGSSS GROCCEEE MY EYE BALLLSSSSSSSSSS THE HORRROORRR. get the fuck over it, and how shameful that the only other female in the room was like iduntevenkno what is like innn perrioddsss. seriously, dudes, have you not had a girlfriend for more than 28 days? one gem of an inquisition was 'are there like dead baby parts in there or somethin?' yes. yes. visible arms and legs. what is wrong with people? did they NOT pass 4th grade health class? then the conversation turned to the males bragging that they could have like a million babies cause there are like a million sperm in jizz (cool dude). actually, morons, most sperm are deformed-double heads, double tail, headless, tail-less etc-and don't require the necessary genetic make up to fertilize an egg that is when they aren't just swimming in a circle chasing their own tail and given your decidedly heavy brow line i would venture a guess that a good 98% of your sperm are never goin' anywhere. why is it, that still, female body functions are mysterious and generally regarded as disgusting while male functions are not only kick ass but hilarious to boot? is it because female organs are un-visible from the outside of the body and male organs are, ahem, more straight forward? in any event get out your ledgers and quote me here, South Park made an excellent parody of this social norm last night. you may also quote me saying, any dude that is that groced out or unawares of his lady's functions is PROBS not so attentive/skilled elsewhere. youknowwhatiamsayin'

o p-l-z a-p-c

i love apc i really do. LOVE. its so eazy breezy and perfect. they consistently deliver the smart basics of my dreams. dreams because i do not have 300 euro for a 'short coat', but none the less! gorgeous. which is why i am fucking BAFFLED as to why, when they have such nice things for s/s09 as below, that they included a TERRY CLOTH JUMPSUIT?!?!! complete with o-ring zipper pull! its the spawn of a million south beach 35 year old grandmas and satan himself. please. please apc, why must you hurt me so!